Today my friend Jennifer sent me this article asking if I had written it. After breezing through it, I was sadden and outraged that I had not!!! It made me realize that I need to apply to post for the Onion and that my child should NOT be given ho ho's.
Enjoy, and think of me!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
What Mother's day means to me
Mother's day for some is about the family gatherings, hallmark cards and bunches of flowers everywhere. For me, Mother's day is a day to be left the FUCK ALONE!!!
Fuck the family time and long drawn out brunches. Give me a bottle of wine and a hotel room to myself and don't call unless someone is dead.
No crying, shit, piss, bathtime, making dinner and the constant screaming of "MOMMY!!!!"
My favorite part of this made up holiday is to be left alone and have the ability to say "It's mommy's day, now go away."
My plan for Sunday is to make my calls to all the moms, grab breakfast with the hub and the spawn, and take off to MY hotel room for the night. For those of you who find that weird...you don't have kids, so your opinion doesn't matter.
The only shit part of this, is Father's day is right around the corner and payback is a major bitch!
Fuck the family time and long drawn out brunches. Give me a bottle of wine and a hotel room to myself and don't call unless someone is dead.
No crying, shit, piss, bathtime, making dinner and the constant screaming of "MOMMY!!!!"
My favorite part of this made up holiday is to be left alone and have the ability to say "It's mommy's day, now go away."
My plan for Sunday is to make my calls to all the moms, grab breakfast with the hub and the spawn, and take off to MY hotel room for the night. For those of you who find that weird...you don't have kids, so your opinion doesn't matter.
The only shit part of this, is Father's day is right around the corner and payback is a major bitch!
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