Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Just when I thought I had a fucked up childhood..

People seriously scare me.
At what point did he decide to do this?

I have the worst luck..

ok, so I know I haven't posted in awhile but I am a busy bee.
Between shitty diapers and my sleepless nights, I still have a crappy job to go to each day.

I don't know what i did, and at what point in my life it was decided I would just have shitty luck, but it happened. I think I have had one consistant job after another that I hate. Maybe hate is a understatement, more like hang myself each morning while getting prepared to head into work.

I have had 1 job I enjoyed going to since living in Arizona. (yes Cindy, it was with you)
I think back to my great job at Intuit and I wonder if me leaving that awesome job if i had cursed myself for the rest of my life.

Lets recap my employment history in AZ:

-The crazy rug guy. Came into work yelling and drunk, argued with wife in front me, napped on the rugs and called me a whore.
- Marketing agency I had no real job function, but I sure looked pretty sitting there all day.
- Crazy sports guy, plotted to fire me and then acted shocked when i started avoiding him. Why are men so stupid?
- Property manager job : the owner was a complusive liar and cheap bastard.
- current job: my boss makes my life hell


I know you all envy me, but there can only be one person as lucky as me...

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Radioactive

soooo ummm I am radioactive.
It sounds weird, but its true. I finally had to resolve my thyroid issue (i got it from being pregnant) after I switched to every medication option available with no luck.
I had the choice, either cut my throat open and pray I live through surgery ORRR be radioactive for 3 days and kill that fucker.

I had to check in 2 hours before the "pill" even arrived. Once it arrived it was in this luck sack looking bag with a bottle sitting securely in the middle. The doctor instructed me to lift the cap and take the pill without touching it. When i proceeded to lift the cap I couldn't lift it up. I was like "is this some sort of trick bottle?" The doctor laughed and said you gotta put a little emhhhh in it.
So I tried again, that fucker must have weight 30 pounds, that's when i got nervous.
I had to wonder, something that needs this heavy of a cap to secure the pill from getting lose..is it safe?
So i did the natural thing..and hestitated. The doctor said, and I swear.."come on girl, just take the pill; it won't bite ya!"

So took the capsule..and was immediately escorted out the back door. I am radioactive and must remain 5 ft from any adult and 20 ft from any child under the age of 4, for 3 days.

To be extra safe I got a hotel room. ummm an interesting one at that. Its sort of the in the middle of all these office buildings and the staff looks like a charcter from The Adams Family.
The room is questionable. I am assuming they have a cleaning staff - but can't be certain. My fridge stinks of 10 day old chinese food and the "deluxe king bed" is a fold away bed.

Within 2 minutes of being in the room I realized I had to stay 3 whole days here and I panicked. Hotels.com should mandate that pictures are updated monthly.

The good news is I am not glowing green, the bad news...I am not superhuman.

I feel robbed.