Office ASS

There are two kinds of Office ASS...

The guy/girl you can NOT stand and seriously make your skin crawl
What happens to your girlish figure after sitting on your ass all day


I have both.
Why invite someone to a meeting if you are going to talk over them and shut down anything they have to say?? Why do I even bother showing up when you speak enough for the both of us?
Oh wait that's right, cause a contract that was signed BEFORE I was even hired is somehow my fault? Super, duper...

WTF!!!
My ass is seriously expanding as I type. I am supposed to be losing weight not getting fatter. It’s so hard to resist the daily temptations that float around an office all day. M&M's on people's desks, snacks in the break room, free soda, and catered lunches. Ughhh I need to work somewhere that supports eating disorders.
When I say muffin top I am NOT referring to the Seinfeld episode where Kramer wants to open a bakery just selling muffin top. It’s my fat, flabby, gross stomach!! ughhh

So all you bakers, stop baking. My ass can no longer handle it. Please don't bring the candy into the office so you don't eat it. Drop it off at a shelter or something, just not here.

Lipo should be part of my benefit package.