Friday, October 31, 2008

Get ready...

McCain will be on SNL tomorrow night. I know that's a shocker that he would follow in his sidekick's footsteps--showing what a "good sport" he is, but its true. Tune in if you want a good laugh.

Tuesday is election day, get out and vote and make us all proud.

I don't have anything eventful to blog about this week so I am going to leave my post short and sweet.

Don't forget to vote!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Solve this riddle..

What kind of asshole goes on someones property and knocks down their Obama sign in their front yard???

answer: A hillbilly McCain supporter.

Yes kids, its True. Josh and I have had enough. Our side street is almost covered in Obama signs and FINALLY a neighbor on our block put their Obama sign out, so we naturally felt it was time. So I drove myself to the Phoenix campaign headquarters and got our lawn sign. It's been up since Saturday. Today some white-trash, boxed wine drinking hillbilly Maverick took our sign out of our yard and throw it in the street.

Who does that? I mean are we 12 yrs old here?? I see a 100 McCain signs everyday. Sure, I would like to rip them off people's lawns and burn them in my fire pit while belting out an evil laugh - but I don't! I am not threatened by their false hope that he will win, and they shouldn't feel threatened that they wasted $8 on a sign that will mean nothing in 2 weeks. :)

You think my sign tampering inccident is lame? Get a load of this shit.
Prop 102 in Arizona is known as the "YES to marriage prop" (similar to CA Prop8)sounds good huh? I bet you are thinking Yes on marriage, that sounds good. That means marriage for everyone right? WRONG!!! If you want to be disgusted visit their site
You want a good laugh? check out their 8 reasons to "defend" marriage. I must have missed something. I didn't realize marriage was under attack. My favorite reason is:#3. "More kids will be taught againest their parents' wishes that homosexuality is normal and healthy." Sort of feels like anyone who dares to live outside the bible is under attack. Some please remind me why religion is dictating the law? Why are we allowing states to decide who can or cannot get married? It seems like something that should just be set across the board, in EVERY state. So these "YES to marriage" assholes are running around saying "Vote YES on marriage", and people who haven't sat down and studied all local laws think they are voting for equal rights on marriage. It's just sick.

Perhaps they should play this PSA in Arizona. It would be so "mavericky" of us.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Maverick State

Don't ask me why or how I ended up living in a republican, McCain loving state.
I miss California and our love for Bill Clinton.

I live in a older neighborhood with young families and the old school Phoenix family's who paid $100 for their house in 1963.
Right after the VP debate I noticed an abundance of McCain/Palin signs blooming from my neighbors yards. The first to start this trend - the guy who fiddles with his lawn everyday while drinking a glass of boxed white wine, sometimes blush. I know that's shocking to believe that a man with such class would be a McCain supporter, but he was exactly who I expected to start the trend. I was floored he didn't pull out his shot gun and yeee haww into the night while digging the sign in his yard.

After that, one by one they all started popping up. Every night I would jog I would count one more. I mean was I the ONLY one who actually watched the debates???
Arizona is weird like that. You could be the worst person in the world, but if you are from AZ, we love ya! When Jordin Sparks was on American Idol, I swore she was running for the senate. I still can't escape her annoying songs on the radio.
I asked my husband if we could get an Obama sign for our yard and the look of fear came over his face and the response was "are you fucking crazy?" "Its bad enough the neighbors hate us, now you want to post a sign announcing that we are voting for the black liberal?" Although I was pissed, he had a good point. ( You may be asking how can your neighbors hate you?) It's simple, we tore down two tiny brick homes, and built 2 really modern homes. 1 towering over the other neighbors, its' actually been called the "freeway wall." The building process was a fun time...
I am sure they all sit on their lawns with their boxed wine muttering "I bet you they are democrats, they have tattoos."

Tonight while running I went down a side street that had 3, yes 3, homes with Obama / Biden signs in their yards. I almost passed out from shock. Could this be real? Or is it that they are on a side street so they are hidden from hillbilly mavericks of the neighborhood? None the less, it made me smile. It actually gave me hope that I would not be subjected to the "Maverick" and his little dingy sidekick for the next four years. So with this said, I ask you to do the right thing and get out and vote this November. Even if you live in a republican state in which your vote is useless, still get out and vote. And if for some reason you feel inclined to vote for the Maverick, please remember you fucked us over the last 8 years; so do us all the favor and stay home.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

2 weeks with no starbucks...

So its been 2 weeks with no caffeine and today was by far the worst. My head felt like it was going to pop off my shoulders. I thought about ways I could slip a cup of coffee into my day without "cheating" but knew all it took was one cup to through me off my game.

I decided to cut out caffeine from my diet for a few reasons:

frequent headaches
jittery hands
$$$$
weight loss

So far the only thing that has happened is I am no longer spending my son's college education on my morning lattes.
I realized today that I am not a very nice person when I don't have my coffee in the mornings. Not that I am usually a warm friendly person, it just seems more severe when I am going through withdrawls.
Its difficult to not explode when someone who is holding a cup of coffee questions why you don't drink caffeine like you have some sort of illness or something.

I really feel my addiction would be best handled with some sort of AA group. I mean caffeine is a drug right? We all know Starbucks puts crack in their coffee which is how I became addicted in the first place. We have support groups for sex addicts, drug addicts, shopping addicts, what about those of us who have a caffeine addiction??? I could sit in a circle with Marge, John, and Bill, and discuss why I feel like I am always close to the edge when I drive by a Starbucks. Maybe I could get a sponsor who I could call every morning who can talk me out of that latte. Perhaps an ex-barista would be a good person for the job.
I am just rambling at this point, I can't even focus on my own thoughts right now. Wish me luck, I am going to need it.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oh jesus..someone please stab my eyes out!

I know I am 2 days late (I am a mom, cut me some slack), but we need to discuss Project Runway.

What the fuck is this?????



It reminds me of something from little shop of horrors, NOT the botanical gardens. For those of you who did NOT watch this weeks episode, you suck and the challenge was to design an evening gown inspired by the botanical gardens. i.e. Flowers, plants, etc. Kenely as usual is in her own made up challenge and decided reptile print and scales was what she was going for. I know New York is cutting edge, but what botanical garden has reptiles running around????

When questioned by her choice, and Tim even commenting that it looked very "reptile" snaggle tooth responded with "cool." Umm Kenely, dear, darling, skank, I don't think Tim meant it as a compliment. Maybe the pins from her mesh flower on her head are in too deep. The rest of the contestants mocked her behind her back the entire episode which brought me some sick sense of joy.
Karma came around to miss Snaggle tooth when the dumb bitch forgot an ENTIRE bag of tulle at Mood Fabric. How do you forget an entire bag of fabric? Maybe her snaggle tooth was blocking her view. After whining and trying to buy tulle off of the other designers Tim said she could go back and get it.
2 problems with that.
1.) You forget it, you lose it.
2.) It was a blessing. I am so sick of that girl and her fucking tulle.

Best part of the entire show is that the other designers had tulle and fully
intended on NOT using it, but since Kenley is suck a dirty biotch, no one gave it up.

So we get to the runway. And of course, everyone hated Snaggle tooth's dress. As usual, she defended and insulted Heidi, who obviously knows nothing about fashion. I was filled with joy knowing that Snaggle tooth was going home. I mean all 3 of the other designers said when asked that she should not make it to fashion week.

There is no shocker here, just as last season, all 4 get to design full lines and only 3 will make it to Bryant Park. You would think snaggle tooth would have been happy she gets to go buy all of the Tulle in New York up for her show, but instead she sat in the corner mumbling about how all the other designers hate her. ohh booo boo whooo. Poor Kenely why don't you tell us again about all of your life struggles. I am sure you had such a horrible life. I mean she is so inspiring.

So we have to wait till next week for the next installment, hopefully Kenely gets hit by a bus on her way to mood so I do not have to hear her slur through her snaggle tooth one more week.

ughhh..

The happiest day in my life...(well almost)

Ladies and gents I have an announcement to make...Krispy Kreme is back in this bitch!!!

Two long sad years ago the guy who owned ALL of the Arizona KK's went bankrupt and all of his stores suddenly were forced to close their doors. It was a dark day in Arizona. My whole pregnancy I could only dream of warm delicious glazed donuts melting my mouth. Waiting for my trip to Portland for my seasonal pumpkin donuts.It was a hard time in my life. No Sprinkles, No Kripy Kreme..it was horrible. A time I usually like to not discuss.

Well the economy may suck, but I have a Sprinkles and as of Wednesday 3 new Phoenix locations of Krispy Kreme! To sweeten the deal, one of the new locations is blocks from my house. Walking distance....

See that green awning going up was like seeing my newborn son for the first time.
For those of you thinking "what's the big deal? it's only Krispy Kreme?" Well, its cause you have never been robbed of your Krispy Kremes.You don't know what you have till its gone!

I will give you one guess what season it is...