Is that a floatation device or my tummy???

After giving birth everything seems to just head even deeper down hill then it was when you were pregnant. When you are expecting it's cute the fatter you get. You order 5 meals it's darling, you snap at the 16 year old who froze the marshmallow topping at Baskin Robbins it's sassy. But once you pop it's you just being a crabby witch.
I had this false hope that I would bounce back like Angelina or Kate Hudson ( didn't she gain like 70 pounds???) but it is starting to become a reality that unless I become rich and famous soon it's not in the cards for me. I noticed that whenever I put on something that is not elastic or a pair of sweats I develop what looks like a tire around my waste. Since I am no longer pregnant I am assuming it is no longer cute.(or is it??) Can someone please explain to me how in the hell it is possible for some women to look as if they didn't even give birth weeks after having a baby and others...well to look like Ugly Betty??? These damn movie stars make us common folk believe its a possibility. I need a cupcake...