take your 2 cents and shove it...

Why is it that perfect strangers always feel the need to give you advice??? Do they think you are going to take it to heart and change your whole life based on their opinion??? Apparently so...
When I was pregnant old women would always argue with me how far along I was, what I should eat, things I should do, yadda yadda. As if you aren't paranoid enough you have all these complete strangers telling you what you shouldn't be doing to make you feel like you are hurting your baby. Once the baby comes, not much changes.
Why do old ladies always feel the urge to comment on my son's size??? "Oh my, he sure is a big boy." Yeah well your hair is blue and you smell funny but you don't see me announcing that in the middle of Starbucks do you???? My son is tall...don't most women like tall men anyways???

"You aren't drinking caffeine are you? That's not good for the baby." Why in the hell would my latte be bad for my baby?? Oh I know why, it's because everyone assumes that you must be breastfeeding. It's nature's milk, well nature's milk would leak all over my clothes, and cause my breasts to enlarge into big punching bags (and not the hot kind that guys like.) Yes I know I am a horrible mother I give my child formula, really expensive formula at that!!! If I am not careful he may grow a 3rd arm. It really annoys me how it is a basic assumption that you are breastfeeding, and if you announce that you are not they look at you like you are Hitler standing before them.

Another personal fav "well you look good for just having a baby." Do you know how that translates???? You wouldn't normally look good but since I now know you pushed a basketball out of your belly you don't look half bad. It isn't flattering, it just reminds me that I have become unattractive and old. Yes ladies it's true. Having children is an instant man repellent and teenagers now see you as their senior not their idol. They look at you like you have some sort of disease as you walk they mall in your baggy sweats with drool stains all over it, hair half up in a ponytail, no make up and the heaviest bags you could imagine under your eyes. Oh yes the joys are endless.
On a side note:
Is it me or do the homeless get a little pushy during the Holidays??? My friend Joy was yelled at, and i had my own run in.
A guy in front of Starbucks was freshly showered and pretty well dressed holding a coffee with a sign reading "homeless, hungry, please help."
This may sound harsh, but if you are that hungry shouldn't you have gotten food instead of the latte? I mean my husband has me on a coffee budget, shouldn't you do the same??
Well that's not what made him pushy, it was this..
So I am struggling to get myself, the car seat and my coffee out the door when he came and rushed up to help me with the door (ironic the homeless guy is the one with the manners) and says "aww look at the little one." So I said thank you and gave him that uncomfortable smile you give when you aren't sure if you are about to be mugged or not and started to head to my car. That is when I hear "hey lady!!! Don't you think you should help someone in need out??" "It is the holidays you know??" I tried to ignore him but then he got louder "That's right, I do you a favor and you tell me to fuck off." I am sorry I don't recall which language Thank You means fuck off, but it sounds really exotic. So I rush to get in the car and I hear him yelling at some other guy about what a bald mother fucker he was. That's right spreading the holiday cheer.
I love Christmas it brings the best out of people...ho ho ho